Caffeine Tales

I’m on a lookout. By no means am I a tea drinker. I’ve fallen in love with coffee just like the rest of the universe. Although, because of coffee’s universe appeal, I’ve always fantasied about the perfect cup of TEA.

Coffee is amazing. I like to split coffee into two categories: Rough coffee and Elegant coffee.

Rough coffee is that fast, cheap cup of a kickstart to your morning, while the Elegant coffee is that tasty cuppa you pay a whole meals worth for.

Rough coffee has a more important role to play in your life, it can sometimes turn a horrible story you are writing to a great piece of work. Of course I am having one right now, but I’m unsure if it’s kicked in yet.

Elegant coffee makes you look cool. Makes you look deep and substantial. Makes you Italian for just that moment. Gives you that CEO look, the look that you are thinking of ways to buy up half a city block or something.

Rough coffee has personally guaranteed the safety of many journeys behind the wheel.
I remember this one brilliant idea I had once.

After a very late night out with some old school friends, at about 3am, I decided not to sleep but instead drive 69km to an airport to see my girlfriend who was flying off at 6am.

You see she had a writing assignment in Indonesia and she absolutely hated flying and definitely hated flying alone. Plus she was also not feeling that well, so you add faint to a mix of anxiety of flying and you get a pretty bad concoction of a bad flight-day.

I decided by me showing up, it should help her out, just that little bit, in some way. Maybe it did.

The story is however that I, on the way back from the Airport heading straight for work at about 7am, dozed off on the wheel several times.

I’ve been in a car wreck before. Maybe it wasn’t a whole proper wreck but let’s just say I know what dozing off on the wheel can do. It ain’t pretty.

So I quickly exited to the nearest rest-stop for a can of Rough coffee. Needless to say it got me to the office safe and sound.

Another brilliant idea was me driving a 5-hour plus ordeal through the rough terrain of the Ipoh to Kelantan route.

The roads were constantly windy and mountainous. It kept going downhill and uphill and with the bends, you had to accelerate and then brake to slow down. Add the misery of being stuck behind a lorry on a one-lane road. That one-lane road. I needed close to three cans that day.

5 hours of that consistency is enough to make you feel sick of driving all together. Needless to say the coffee was the driving force behind the success of completing that journey in record time, without the need to stop much.

I’d never ever do that journey again under those same circumstances.

I don’t think I’d ever have stories like that about tea. But I have a strange urge to come of the “aid” of its reputation.

It needs a makeover. It needs an award winning marketing campaign. I do believe it can be done. And I feel that Darjeeling has a huge role to play. Everest has a huge role.

Someone needs to equate something with something quick and restore the reputation of tea.

It needs to be elevated to new heights. It needs to go against coffee with an equal opportunity to come out on top.

Until then, let me take another sip of my Elegant coffee.

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