29, going on 30

So I turned 30. Wasn’t as bad as I expected. What I can’t help though, is flooding thoughts about my 20s.

So when I turned 20, I was trying to achieve a degree in Lim Kok Wing University of Creative Technology. From then, 10 years on, I reflect on all I’ve set out to do, and did and from where I begun.

I did it and I did it all myself. Single proudest fact.

Although, saying that, unfortunately I had not achieved all I wanted to by this age. I’m somewhat only halfway through. I’ve had some hits, some misses, and some complete howlers.

Eh I’m human.

In a lot of ways I have made very mature decisions and took reasonable risks in developing myself, in other parts I’ve been rather immature and lackluster.

So in some ways, 30 is beginning from scratch.

Sometimes I even wonder how I survived college with what I was given to work with. I was sooo broke it should have been illegal to go to college. It’s absolute madness now when I think about it.

In some ways I’ve been giving myself excuses to be immature with life and now I gotta step up. Then again I loved the solitude, I loved the feeling of being free. I loved feeling the new wind of a new place, seeing new faces and learning new things, I was never held back.

Those I had the luxury of getting to know deeper, I keep you in my heart for life, “chapters open and they close but you don’t forget the story”.

Friends that still kept me, I keep you forever. I say that with that evil grin of course, you made your bed now lie in it.

Biggest hits, misses:

I lost you Daniel Deenesh, truly my biggest lost of my 20s. You my brother, and our memories, I keep till the end of me. Wished we had more time, it was just too sudden. But didn’t we have some great moments with the Universe? Us and the Kuantan seas.

I bought the car, who unlike others was never named by me but was called Whimpy, by a friend, for a season or two because of its number plate (WPY), I bought the house, definitely the biggest achievement of my 20s.

I will never forget you Chicago and Tennessee, the best 1.5 months of my 20s for sure.

I watched time drift, at times, never regretting it cause sometimes you really need to turn the switch off. You never get those moments back, but it’s ok, you smile and live a little. I’ve done a lot of living, the need was engrained in me, and I did it with awesome music throughout.

Have u ever had a truly wondrous moment with the Universe? I have, I remember where and when, 2009, I remember how it felt, stones by my feet, that incredibly huge pollution-free river in Queenstown, New Zealand, my now sold off IPod, and I was just one with that place, man. I felt 0 % negativity, something rare in my 20s.

Wait, or was it my first experience with Chicago weather? I totally underestimated the Winter of 2009, bone chilling walk around Deerfield, falling in love with everything I saw and entering that bakery, falling in love with the smell, the feel and the choices …

I’ve had a pretty awesome 20s. I think I’m ready for the next 10 years.

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