A “poor” choice of Word

“But, I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; tread softly because you tread on my dreams.” William Butler Yeats.

I didn’t come from money. Having so little growing up, I wonder if it shaped me to be a different person, the person I am now. I wonder how I’d be like if I had a little more, if I had to struggle a little less.

There is no doubt one misses out on many opportunities in life when one has to constantly worry about money. Money pays for entrances to many of life’s greatest wonders.

Poor. Such a hateful word. I feel it burn the pit of my stomach as much as “fat” “black” or “nerd”. One does not deserve to be classified based on their financial capability. One does not deserve to be judged, period, but this is a world where society selfishly defines what is acceptable and what is not.

Why do u call me poor, why do you say I’m jealous of your not so “poorness”? It is stupid to call someone poor their entire life just because that person didn’t come from money. It’s like calling a one time petty thief a criminal their entire life, for one moment of weakness, only being a poor is never a choice at a young age, it is what you were born into.

I hate being reminded of where I came from. I am by no means ashamed of it, but somewhere in my life, being poor sucked, majorly.

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Have I ever been jealous of someone else’s life because they had money, sure I have. But that is understandable, while I would be gracious to someone who is jealous of me for something, I would never ever use that to insult them.

Insulting someone with a single word that describes one of the worst periods in their life, is low. It is a cheap blow. It strikes deep and the lashes sting long. It takes a black heart to use that, or black hearted intentions.

I am not jealous that you had it easy. I am not. Why? Because you were born into a family that was making it, worked hard and achieved much, doesn’t fall on your shoulders, do I get worked up I never had that? Sure, but jealous of your life, wanting what you had? Never. I would not trade my memories of simplicity for any amount of money.

I have a problem of always being so competitive, so much so I stop to smell the roses along the way.

I got to learnt to stop letting things get under my skin. I should laugh insults like these off, like I laugh at the stupidity of politicians using religion to divide and influence people. I used to get so angry that people were so vulnerable, but then I learnt you can’t change them, you only can change how you process their short insights to life.

I’m learning that. I’m going to laugh it off. There are just so many more problems in this world, my world, than my poor past.

I am more than my wallet.

“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” W.C. Fields

MM 31.7.14

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