When I was inconvenient 

As I lay dazed.

Hospitals beds look comfortable, but rarely are.

Tubes run through my veins, stiffening it, the other hand full of puncture wounds.

They steal my blood, like thieves, but I don’t stop them.

They check my pulse then they drown me in some liquid antibiotics.

Why is it so strong? I’m nauseous, my phone goes off, it turns me off, I can’t even look at it, I don’t wanna puke.

I can’t eat the plastic hospital food, I can’t eat. It tastes like death. I’m weakening. I don’t wanna puke.

I eat a little, progress, I don’t wanna puke. It would be waste. 

My phone rings, I answer, I wanna puke, I turn it off, I control it, I distract myself, I try not to puke.

I puke. 

I can’t do anything, I can’t move, I don’t wanna puke again.

I’m alone. I miss you. 

“It’s inconvenient to see you everyday” she rips through my heart.

Why do they let you down when ur at your weakest.

I hallucinate, must be the drugs again.

My phone goes off, maybe it’s her, I wish I could gather enough strength to call her. I don’t wanna puke.

I’m in some Soprano dream sequence, finally I get those dream sequences. The drugs make you someone else. They take you places, colourful places.

I miss you.

I’m an inconvenience.

I miss you, I could do with a pick me up, I could do with you holding my hand, reminding me this is temporary, everyone falls, everyone falls, then they get back up.

I wish I had you there.

I was an inconvenience.

As I lay in bed, drugs keeping me prisoner, I was just an inconvenience.


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